My cousin's colleague's brother's parole officer has a daughter who is interning at the White House. She overheard the following exchange during the Obamas' breakfast this morning.
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The First Lady: (solicitiously) "Good morning Dear!
The President: (stares sullenly down at his bowl of Cap'n Crunch as he shovels the stuff into his mouth)
The First Lady: (sharply) "I said 'Good Morning Dear!"
The President: (nods almost imperceptibly to the Secret Service man in the corner)
The Secret Service: (dressed in a black suit, dark sun-glasses, wearing an ear piece) "Ma'am! The President is not talking to you today. He is sulking because his wife is in league with the arch-enemy of his beloved Spin-Offs - Team Hodge-Podge!"
The President: (suddenly looking up from his Cap'n Crunch) "George! I am NOT sulking!"
The Secret Service: (coming to ram-rod stiff attention and vigorously saluting) "No SIR! Of course you're not SIR! Begging The President's Pardon SIR!"
The First Lady: (choosing to ignore the preceding comments) "Barack, I hear that in the Spin-Offs last game against Team Hodge Podge, you lent your catcher to them - and then she caught the final out in a crucial inning!"(laughing)
The President: (turning red) "Oh? Well right before that happened she caught a nearly impossible fly ball that was hit deep into right field by the X.O. of your team!
The First Lady: (smirking) "I thought you weren't talking to me?"
The President: (abruptly standing up and nearly toppling his chair - all while turning an even darker shade of red) "GEORGE!! Call for the helicopter - immediately!! I'm going to Camp David! I should be able to eat my Captain Crunch in peace, without being baited by a lousy Hodge-Podger!
The Secret Service: (has remained at ram-rod stiff attention and now vigorously salutes again) "SIR! Yes SIR!"
The First Lady: (in a soothing tone, but with glee in her eyes) "Now Dear - be reasonable. You shouldn't be so upset just because Yvette Jardine has turned out to be such an amazing player..."
The President: (storms out of the room with his box of Cap'n Crunch under his arm)
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(Yvette - Kudos on your new found athletic prowess! But do you know any good marriage counselors? ;) - Francis
9/25/09
My sources at the White House tell me that The First Lady has defected to the Spin-Offs arch-nemesis: Team Hodge Podge!
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Setting: The President and First Lady are eating breakfast. Michelle Obama is reading a National Security Briefing marked "Top Priority!!!"
President Obama: (speaking to The First Lady) "I called Andy Muir on Wednesday morning to see if his hip was feeling better, and to wish the Spin-Offs good luck..."
The First Lady: (Not looking up from the Briefing, and feigning innocence) "The Spin-Offs? Oh... You mean that softball team that you're so wild about? How IS Arnie?"
President Obama: "Andy."
The First Lady: "What?"
President Obama: "The Spin-Offs' short-stop's name is Andy. And he's feeling better."
The First Lady: (Still looking down at the Briefing) "That's nice Dear."
President Obama: "Andy told me he'd heard some disturbing news Michelle."
The First Lady: (Still distracted by the Briefing) "Oh? Did he hear about Bo [The White House dog] humping The Queen's leg during her visit?"
President Obama: "No Michelle. Andy told me that you've gone and joined Team Hodge Podge ["THP"]. Is that true?"
The First Lady: "Of course not Dear. You know I would never do anything to hurt your beloved Spin-Offs..."
President Obama: "AH-HA! So you know who THP is! Admit it - you're on the team!"
The First Lady: (Standing up, taking Briefing with her) "Well I can see that I'm not going to get any reading done at the breakfast table this morning."
President Obama: (Eyes moist; stricken look on face; single tear rolling down his cheek) "Michelle! How could you??"
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Setting: The President and First Lady are eating breakfast. Michelle Obama is reading a National Security Briefing marked "Top Priority!!!"
President Obama: (speaking to The First Lady) "I called Andy Muir on Wednesday morning to see if his hip was feeling better, and to wish the Spin-Offs good luck..."
The First Lady: (Not looking up from the Briefing, and feigning innocence) "The Spin-Offs? Oh... You mean that softball team that you're so wild about? How IS Arnie?"
President Obama: "Andy."
The First Lady: "What?"
President Obama: "The Spin-Offs' short-stop's name is Andy. And he's feeling better."
The First Lady: (Still looking down at the Briefing) "That's nice Dear."
President Obama: "Andy told me he'd heard some disturbing news Michelle."
The First Lady: (Still distracted by the Briefing) "Oh? Did he hear about Bo [The White House dog] humping The Queen's leg during her visit?"
President Obama: "No Michelle. Andy told me that you've gone and joined Team Hodge Podge ["THP"]. Is that true?"
The First Lady: "Of course not Dear. You know I would never do anything to hurt your beloved Spin-Offs..."
President Obama: "AH-HA! So you know who THP is! Admit it - you're on the team!"
The First Lady: (Standing up, taking Briefing with her) "Well I can see that I'm not going to get any reading done at the breakfast table this morning."
President Obama: (Eyes moist; stricken look on face; single tear rolling down his cheek) "Michelle! How could you??"
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9/22/09
My White House sources tell me that The President relayed the following story to Russian Prime Minister Vladamir Putin over beers in the garden. The Prime Minister was very sympathetic. Apparently his wife only lets him play softball twice a month. He did however invite The President to join him for a game of "Red Square Softball," and even offered to make him an honorary member of his "Moscow Maulers." Could a an international game between The Maulers and The Spin-Offs be far off?
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The White House: The President tip-toes past his wife's office, softball glove in hand. Unfortunately for him, The First Lady is onto him.
MO: "Barack - Did you finish your speech for the Unitded Nations?"
BO: "Yes Dear."
MO: "Did you take the dog out for a walk?"
BO: "Yes Dear."
MO: "OK then - go have fun with your Spin-Offs. Just be sure to be home in time for supper."
The President breathes a sigh of relief. He was expecting The Missus to ask him whether he'd fixed the health care problem yet!
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The White House: The President tip-toes past his wife's office, softball glove in hand. Unfortunately for him, The First Lady is onto him.
MO: "Barack - Did you finish your speech for the Unitded Nations?"
BO: "Yes Dear."
MO: "Did you take the dog out for a walk?"
BO: "Yes Dear."
MO: "OK then - go have fun with your Spin-Offs. Just be sure to be home in time for supper."
The President breathes a sigh of relief. He was expecting The Missus to ask him whether he'd fixed the health care problem yet!
8/31/09
One of my sources in the White House recently overheard the following conversation between The President and The First Lady:
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Michelle Obama: "Barack - come away from that window & sit down to supper. The Russian prime minister is waiting!"
President Obama: (Without looking away from the window) "Please tell him I'm monitoring a very important strategic situation & that I'll be down in 15 minutes."
Michelle Obama: (With hands on hips) "Barack! Watching The Spin-Offs play is HARDLY a 'very important strategic situation!'"
President Obama: "Says you woman!"
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:)
- F.
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Michelle Obama: "Barack - come away from that window & sit down to supper. The Russian prime minister is waiting!"
President Obama: (Without looking away from the window) "Please tell him I'm monitoring a very important strategic situation & that I'll be down in 15 minutes."
Michelle Obama: (With hands on hips) "Barack! Watching The Spin-Offs play is HARDLY a 'very important strategic situation!'"
President Obama: "Says you woman!"
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:)
- F.
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